The last day of school was Thursday, June 8. Those last couple of weeks of school get a little crazy. Add to the chaos that my son graduated from his elementary school, so there were extra added events this year than there usually is.
Also on that day, my dear sweet grandmother was connected to Hospice. It was time. It was probably past time. Over the last few months, she has really been struggling and declining in health. She had more frequent visits to the emergency room. And though she was living in a memory care facility, I was frequently by her side. Over the last couple of years, I have spent anywhere from 3-6 days a week with her in some way, shape, or form. It was heart-breaking to see her decline and her pain increase. Once Hospice came in, my time with her only increased. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I possibly could before I no longer was able.
On the morning of Monday, June 12, she passed peacefully into heaven. I was not there at the time of her passing, but I arrived only minutes after. I wish I could have been there. The moments following her passing, I was there for my mom and aunt to cope and prepare for the days to come.
I had to travel to my home town to meet with the funeral home along with my family. Then, my own little family decided to hit the road to get away for a little while, to spend some good time together because of the difficulties of these last few months on all of us. As soon as we returned home, we got back in the car to head to my home town once again for my grandmother's funeral and to say our final good-byes.
I thought that was it. I was wrong. The day of the funeral was hard, but the day after the funeral, I was hit hard. My body was ridiculously exhausted. I wanted to sleep as much as I could. I did not feel good in so many ways. I felt that my body finally knew it was time to let go. All of that caring, giving, and grieving finally took its toll. And, it lasted for days.
As I write this tonight, I am still tired and not feeling 100%. But, I do feel that I am getting better and I see the light. I've been spending some great time with my family and the extra time with my kids has been so good. I greatly miss my grandmother. Every day. I am learning every day how to live without her physically in my life. I still think about her though and I always will. She was an amazing woman with an amazingly kind heart, and I am so thankful to have called her my own Grams. May she now rest in peace.
I feel like in my absence, I have missed so much. Catch me up! In the meantime, I will be working to catch up here on the blog with how my reading was last month and what some of my favorite reads have been so far this year. I've got plans, and I now have time to do them.
What have you been up to these last few weeks? What are you reading? What are you blogging?
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is the first I'm hearing of it. Sending hugs!ReplyDelete
Jenny ... Thank you. I have been pretty silent lately. I think I'm ready to get back to it now.Delete
So Sorry for you loss Tif! It is so great that you were close and had a good relationship with your grandma. Take all the time you need to mourn.ReplyDelete
Kami ... Thank you so much. I am so very thankful for all the great memories I have with her.Delete
You are very lucky to have been able to spend so much time with your Grams over the last few months. I can totally see how your body would be processing all of the stress from that time now. Just rest up and relax and do things that make you happy. <3ReplyDelete
Kristen M. ... I am definitely working on resting up and doing things that make me happy. Wait, I actually need to work on that resting up thing. I haven't been sleeping much lately.Delete
So sorry for your loss! It's terribly hard to lose a beloved grandmother, so thank goodness you were able to spend so much time with her! Take care of yourself, Tif. Sending virtual hugs!ReplyDelete
Alexia561 ... Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words and your virtual hugs!Delete